The 12 Fatal Flaws of Fiction Writing

As an editor and writer, I’m always on the lookout for good reference or learning material. I just finished a book that fulfills both criteria. 5 Editors Tackle the 12 Fatal Flaws of Fiction Writing breaks down the 12 most problematic issues writers struggle with.

Each editor addresses a different aspect of the individual flaw, providing an in-depth look at each issue. The before and after examples are great demonstrations of how the flaw can cause novel failure, and how the fixes improve your writing.

Fatal Flaw #1: Overwriting

Less is more. Over-packing your writing with words drowns out the emotional response you’re trying to evoke. Using fewer, carefully chosen words brings out plot and character motivation in a more effective way.

The big picture gets lost with wordiness, convolution, redundancy, and vagueness. Focus on the heart of the scene, the character’s voice, and the point of the dialogue. What do you want the reader to take away from the scene?

Too much detail distracts from what you want the reader to pay attention to. Stage directions (such as-he removed the keys from his right pocket, selected the house key, and inserted it into the lock and turned) are tedious and boring. Give the reader no more than three sensory details that are very specific (i.e. he fumbled for his keys in the dark, as the cold wind howled). Keep the story moving and allow some leeway for the reader’s imagination.

Write tight by avoiding redundancy (use “fell” vs. “fell down”), repetition (repeating the same sentiment close in proximity), and overused punctuation, which weakens your writing.

Avoid adding unnecessary words to modify verbs—stood up. Don’t use character actions repeatedly—meaning don’t overuse mannerisms, such as "biting her lip" or "scratching his neck." It’s okay to describe your characters through their mannerisms sparingly, however, overdoing it yanks the reader out of the flow. Using double exclamation marks or using an exclamation mark with a question mark is a no-no

Stay away from purple prose—a prose that is too elaborate or ornate (per Google). You may have a vocabulary that rivals a thesaurus, but flowery language is for poets, not fiction writers, and, unless it’s a period piece, not in dialogue. Your point-of-view character’s voice and your writing style should fill your page instead of overdosing with lavish language. Remember, Smarty had a party and nobody came.

You don’t want a reader closing your book due to boredom. Your pacing slows when weighed down by unnecessary words, and weak or flat verbs and adjectives dull the reading. Say what you mean by using concise wording and trading adverbs for stronger verbs.

When reviewing your writing, kill anything that doesn’t advance the plot or reveal key points. Be merciless.

Fatal Flaw #2: Nothing Happening

You need to engage readers right away. How? Start at the latest possible point, where your story really begins. In the drafting stage, getting a story started usually involves a lot of description or backstory as our brains warm up to the actual story. It’s kind of like stretching before exercising (if you do that kind of thing.) You’re warming up, but the reader is dozing off.

Grab the reader right away. Start with something happening like interaction between two characters, anticipation of something just about to happen, or in medias res—in the middle of the action--to get the reader hooked right off the bat.

Avoid starting with backstory. It’s better to sprinkle that in here and there, where it provides needed information at the right time. Drop your reader into the action to create intimacy with your character right away.

Fatal Flaw #3: Weak Construction

Passive voice, vague descriptors, dangling modifiers, and progressive tense (i.e.-ing verbs) put serious cracks in your story structure. Delving into each of these issues individually is another article, or several, that I’ll leave for another time.

Weak construction slithers in at the detail level, as well as at the big picture level. Examine each individual sentence, and then bore down on your word choice. Ensure your character’s dialogue and actions move the story forward, instead of sitting in neutral.

Fatal Flaw #4: Too Much Backstory

The writer needs to know everything about the characters, but the reader doesn’t. Interrupting the story with “info dumping” yanks the reader out of the story, disconnecting them from the characters. Backstory should slip in as an underlying part of a scene using a few lines of dialogue or a brief thought.

Fatal Flaw #5: POV Violations

The common trend in today’s fiction writing is limited point of view (POV). You stay in one character’s POV per scene. This allows you to get deep into the mental and emotional state of the character and the story. Readers always need to know who, when, and where they are.

Because it’s “limited”, your character can’t narrate on anything outside their personal scope or on what other characters are thinking. I advise my clients to view the scene through a camera perched on the POV character’s shoulder. When self-editing, check for head hopping (jumping from one character to another) to prevent disconnecting the reader from the story.

Though it’s essential to tell the story from the one character’s POV that has the most to lose, you can use more than one character’s perspective. Either leave a blank line or start a new chapter to alert the reader the POV has changed.

There are other points of view, of course. You need to choose the right one for your story, and research the trend for your genre.

Fatal Flaw #6: Telling Instead of Showing

Transform your scenes into a sensory-rich enactment rather than summarizing. Immerse your reader into your world with a balance between scene and summary. Bring the scene to life using sensory perception, character action and emotions. Use narrative and dialogue to show your story, rather than relaying it.

Fatal Flaw #7: Lack of Pacing and Tension

I always think of pacing as a roller-coaster ride. Bring them up, drop them down and throw in a curve, or two, all while keeping the tension tight. This isn’t to say that you can’t slow it down a bit, just not so long that the reader drops off into ZZZZ land.

Set pace and tension level using emotional narrative and conflict. Use the 5 Plot Points (the 5 pivotal scenes) to move your character toward his goal or fail. Resist the Urge to Explain (RUE) by avoiding excessive backstory or info dumping. Keep your writing tight, and be sure to “show don’t tell.”

Fatal Flaw #8: Flawed Dialogue Construction

You need engaging tension, convincing tone, and good rhythm when writing dialogue. By using THADs (Talking Heads Avoidance Devices), action beats, and “white space” you can keep your place in the story anchored while your characters chat. There are some basic rules to developing a unique voice for each of your characters:

1. Don’t use direct address – this rule can be broken once in a while. Ask if you would address someone by name in this situation in real life.

2. Use speech tags sparingly (she said) and alternate them with action beats – Let structure identify the speaker by starting a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks (with only two person conversations). Also, avoid using things like “nodded” and “shrugged” as speech tags. These are not a form of speech.

If three (or more) characters are interacting, then you need to be clear who is speaking.

Action beats avoid the “talking heads in white space” and can advance the plot in subtle ways.

3. Move your speech tags around – it usually better to have the tag near the beginning, but sometimes it’s best at the end, except at the end of a long passage of dialogue.

4. Don’t use adverbs – make the words carry their own meaning.

5. Use other elements – use action, internal speech, and description in between dialogue to break it up. It keeps the reader immersed in the story.

Character building is another important element in dialogue. Their speech patterns, tone, colloquial language, etc…,all play a part in defining your character and give them more dimensions.

Fatal Flaw #9: Underwriting

Underwriting is often a by-product of editorial advice like “don’t info dump” or “show, don’t tell” or “don’t fill your scenes with backstory”. We must create enough of our imaginary world to allow the reader to be swept into it. But, how do you determine how much to convey? Ask questions for each scene.

1. Where is this scene taking place?

2. What does this place look like and feel like?

3. How much time has passed?

4. What is your character feeling right now?

5. What is your character’s reaction?

6. What is the natural, believable process of your character’s reaction? What is the appropriate, immediate response?

7. What is the point of this scene?

8. What is your protagonist’s goal for the book?

9. Where is the conflict?

10. Where is your opening hook and strong ending sentence?

Fatal Flaw #10: Description Deficiencies and Excesses

Description is what allows the reader to travel to that time and place. Make it personal by using it to reveal some of your character. What do they see, hear, feel, taste, and touch that elicits an emotional response from them? Avoid underwriting and overwriting issues by sticking to three sensory elements.

Atmosphere, or mood, is set through good description. Imagine yourself in the scene as your character and write what comes. Then go back and rework the details to convey what you want the reader to come away with.

Fatal Flaw #11: Pesky Adverbs and “Weasel Words”

The most commonly used adverbs end in ly (e.g., loudly, quickly, nervously) others that are overused include just, very, and really.

“Weasel Words” are unnecessary phrases, words, and actions that weaken writing to that of an amateur. Examples of Weasel Words include looked or looking, turned or turning, and watched or watching. These words can also be used as indicators of telling instead of showing. Removing them can be tedious, but the end result of tighter writing is worth it.

You also want to look out for prepositional phrases.

You don’t need to eliminate every adverb, weasel word or prepositional phrase, but you do need to avoid overusing them. If you can remove the offending word or phrase and the sentence still reads correctly, then do so. If not, try rewording to convey the same meaning. Otherwise, leave the sentence as is.

Fatal Flaw #12: Flawed Writing Mechanics

Scenes follow the same structure as plot (the norm-or status quo, inciting incident, challenge, climax , a resolution-but not always- can be a cliffhanger). Each scene has forward motion and something has changed by the end.

Smaller issues that derail, or deteriorate fiction writing include repetitive use of pronoun/proper names, beginning sentences with “there” or “it”, and using weak or nonspecific verbs.

Follow paragraphing guidelines such as:

· Begin a new paragraph anytime the speaker changes

· Keep individual characters’ actions, thoughts, and speech in one paragraph

· If this results in very long paragraphs, consider shortening by adding another character’s interaction in a new paragraph or splitting into two paragraphs at a logical place

· Action involving more than one character, you need to allow each character his own paragraph.

· New paragraph with each change in time or place

· New paragraph whenever the main idea of the paragraph changes

· Offset a sentence or two for emphasis with a new paragraph

Strive for cadence, or rhythm, in your writing by eliminating redundancy, and writing with parallel structure. Think about each word. Each one you choose matters.

Obviously, each of these flaws could, and do, fill volumes on the art of mastering them. A writer needs to know how to most effectively use the tools of his trade. 5 Editors Tackle the 12 Fatal Flaws in Fiction Writing is a great book to have in your reference library. The checklists at the end of each chapter, and the tons of examples are a good source for self-editing.

Additional links

C.S Lakin ‘s website Live Write Thrive http://www.livewritethrive.com/

Grammar Girl http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/